Some Easter pics and random thoughts

Sorry I haven't written in so long. I'm sure you've all been in agony waiting for me to write. Have you been kept up at night, found yourself daydreaming about a new post, or been checking your computer more often than necessary? Well, your worries are over. At least that one.

So, here are a few pictures from Easter. Since we had already had a family egg hunt and Tristan and Alaina had another one at the Mom's group, we didn't go to any hunts, which was great! The Easter bunny came to our house on Saturday morning, so that Sunday could be more focused on the Savior and the real meaning of Easter. (We didn't do such a great job of that on Sunday, but it was still nice to have Easter over with 9 o'clock church and a 7:30 am meeting.)
The Easter bunny put the baskets in the family room, away from prying eyes. I came upstairs and said, "Danny! There's something downstairs!" Tristan was looking a mite worried at this point and then I said, "I think the Easter bunny came!" Tristan started to almost shake with excitement and yelled, "Yeah!" Ahhh.. that's what it's all about for parents.

They were so excited about their baskets and Alaina went right to hers and said, "Mine!!"
In their baskets they had some eggs with m&m's and gummi bears, they had some peeps, a Reese's peanut butter egg, a book, two balloons, some bubbles, and their favorite, a lizard filled with beads that feels really cool. Alaina had a frog instead of a lizard. Very Eastery, I know. They all ate their candy pretty quickly while watching Saturday morning cartoons. It was a good day.

I love the diaper look! Can you tell Danny had been home with them?

Tristan with his lizard in his head.

Alaina in her Easter dress- she was done with pictures by this point

Some other random things- Alex kept getting up from dinner and Danny said, "Alex, sit down and eat your dinner!" Alex sat down and started eating, then looked up at Danny and said, "Yes, Lord." Danny just said, "That's right, Alex."
Alaina had thrown herself down in a fit of anger because Tristan had her balloon. Tristan threw it back over to her but she didn't see it, so Danny told her, "Alaina, stand up and turn around." She looked at him a moment, and then stood up and started turning around and around. She must have thought he was pretty silly.

I know there is more I wanted to write about, but I can't remember. So, here are a few cute pictures of Alaina! I really do take pictures of my other kids, just not as many! And I really will post pictures of the family room asap! But pictures are always fun!

A few moments with Alex :)

Well, it turns out that today is National Autism Awareness Day, or something like that. (I'm not really sure- I was too busy taking care of my kids!) So, in honor of that I thought I would share a glimpse into what it is like living with a child with autism.

So today I put on some great piano music, All of Me by Jon Schmidt. I've got it playing on my playlist, so if you can't hear it, make sure your sound is on. It's very dramatic, exhilirating music. I put Alex up on the counter and told him I wanted him to listen to this piano music. He listened quietly for a count or two and then wrapped his legs and arms around me and said, "Dance!" So we proceeded to hop, jump and twirl around the kitchen together, his arms wrapped around my neck and his legs holding tight. As the music really picked up he threw his head back, closed his eyes and laughed and smiled as we twirled around and around. He kept saying, "I'm dancing!" It was pure, unadulterated joy. When he started to slip and needed a boost up, he would say, "Help your bum?" Our kitchen may not be that big, but we really made our way around. At the end of the music, when I thought my arms and legs were going to give out, I sat him on the counter to rest. He quickly pressed the buttons on the cd player to start the music over again, wrapped his arms around me and said, "Dance, Mama!" So around we went again. He looked like the poster child for happiness. He wanted to do it a third time, but I was about to pee my pants and I knew my arms were done for.

I have a few moments from Alex's life that are imprinted on my memory and are as clear as the day they happened. When he rode an elephant, trying to do the hula to the Lilo and Stitch music, riding one of those trains that's pulled by a riding lawnmower, him standing in the middle of one of those huge parachutes that you play with as kids, with his head sticking up the middle and kids all around the sides shaking the parachute up and down and making the balls bounce all around his head. I remember that last one so clearly. It was at the ward potluck and it was outside in the summer. The evening sun was shining right on him and he was sooo happy and excited and all the kids around the edges were loving it as much as him. Today was another one of those moments, locked away forever in my memory. That smiling face, eyes closed, head back, loving every moment.

When Alex was born I knew he was special. Every kid is special, but I knew that he was meant to come to our house. I have had doubts so many times, but I always remember how that felt when he was born. That I knew he was supposed to be with us. Sometimes I wonder if we are living up to what we are supposed to do for him, but in the end you just have to do the best you can. When he wasn't even four weeks old we had him in bed with us in the morning, just playing with him, and I, mostly joking said, "Alex, are you happy to be here with us? If you are, give us a sign." His face erupted into the biggest smile we had ever seen! His whole body was smiling and wiggly! He couldn' t have spoken more clearly if he talked. I think Heavenly Father gave us some moments like that with him before he was closed to us a little bit.

But after all the ups and downs, with a lot of downs, the best thing I can say that we have done is that Alex is still Alex. He loves life and nothing that happens to him or around him stops him from being himself. (Sometimes that can drive you mad!) He is the most sincere, genuine person I know. He never filters himself for others, for better or worse, and truly enjoys happiness. I have learned to cherish moments now, rather than just moving onto the next thing. I love dancing with him. I love listening to the same song for the 6th time, just because it has a great guitar intro. I love seeing life through his eyes occasionally. And I love seeing him, the real him, in those eyes, too. Every once in a while it comes through, and I know that someday I will be in awe and wonder when I find out what kind of person I had the priveledge of having as my son on earth.

So, there is a moment with autism. There are hard times, too, but I think I will let them go and only use up the limited space in my memory for moments like today. They're really the only times that count, anyway.