Ahh... it has been been a long time coming. I am feeling more like the normal me. We have been so sick around here with colds and strep throat and fevers, I can't remember the last time I felt so awful! To put it in perspective, I would rather give birth to Emme again than go through that one more time. Yuck!! And there were two things that made it sooo much worse. 1. Being pregnant (Did you know I am pregnant? Most of you probably do. Due in September!) So all I could take was Tylenol, until I went to the Urgent Care and got penicillin for the strep. 2. This thing lasted FOREVER!!! Not a one or two day and you start feeling better. No, this was weeks of feeling yucky. But, now I am past the first three months of pregnancy and don't feel so much like throwing up if I think about making dinner or grocery shopping and, though I still have major sinus pressure if I bend over more than 75 degrees, I still feel so much better!! And it is great!!
If there is a plus side to being sick, here are the few I have thought of-
1. There is nothing like being sick to make you realize what a blessing you health is!
2. It makes you realize how wonderful acts of service are! When one of our neighbors came over collecting money for scouting, somehow as he talked to Danny it came up that I had been sick. So there he was, busy with what he was already doing, and so do you know what he did? Two minutes later he was back over at our house snowblowing the sidewalks and driveway. I almost wanted to cry.
3. It reminds me once again that we should never judge others, because maybe they feel sick like that a lot and we don't know it. I wouldn't ever get anything done!! Or they may be having mental or emotional problems that are overwhelming to them. You just can't be healthy and feeling well and pass judgment on anyone else. Just love others and serve them.
So, with feeling better I am still overly tired alot- a possible combination of pregnancy, being slightly out-of-shape, and laziness. I am hoping and blaming mostly pregnancy. :) But I have been thinking a lot today about what makes a "good" mother and simultaneously feeling guilty for not being able to help everyone who needs something. What makes a good mother? A kind voice? Having your children excel in many areas? What about the Mom who can't afford lessons? Or who goes to church every week by herself, without a husband who will come? We just can't all accomplish the same things. So how do you know if you are doing a good job?
Well, I don't have any answers, but I did pull out my book "Glimpses Into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley", which is one of my favorite books. And I found this quote that was from a talk on mothering and homemaking that she gave to a group of women.
"We have to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove anything, to be what we are."
Such wonderful, simple advice. I love the way she puts everything.
She also would gently tease President Hinckley when he would adjust the microphone for her at meetings as she addressed the congregation, "That's why I bring him along."
And when her oldest daughter cried in despair when her first baby was 6 weeks old that, "I've had it! I'm not cut out to be a mother! I can't do this for the rest of my life!" she started to laugh. "Well, guess what, dear," she said through her laughter. "It's too late!"
I just love Sister Hinckley and her no-nonsense way of approaching life, always with such a sense of humor. It really changes everything!!
So, that's all of my thoughts for now. Someday the computer will cooperate and download my pictures of our trip to Salt Lake! We had so much fun! But until then, I am curious, what do you think describes a great mother? And how in the world are we supposed to know how we are doing??
4 comments:
Hmmmm....
I think a good description of a great mother is one that is confident and happy in how SHE is doing things with her kids. Not comparing all the time and trying to do everything that the neighbors are doing just because she needs to keep up! But, one of the best things, is just having a happy mom! I know you and I both feel (and Haley and the others too) that our best memories of mommy are when she was just happy and relaxed. Like when we'd come home from school and she would be out by the creek tanning in a swimming suit reading a book. Or when she was just silly.
So, I guess my feelings are a happy, relaxed and confident mom is the best!
Hmmm. Now, how to get ourselves to not compare ourselves to other moms?!
As far as lessons go, it seems that kids who didn't have a thousand lessons to go to but maybe had one or two things they did, even if they had to earn the money themselves, seem to really appreciate the lessons and training they did get. It seems that if you live in a decent community that there are a bazillion opportunities between school and local theatres and choirs etc. etc.
The hard part for us kids was that we didn't have money for lessons, or anyway to earn money AND we lived int he middle of no where so much where there were no options! So, basically, just don't move back to Perry. :)
Sister Hinckey is so inspiring! I love what she said to her daughter about it being too late. Ha!
Oh, I love those quotes about Sister Hinckley. If I'm ever needing some inspiration/encouragement, her book is what I go to ( or I call Noodle, you, or Megan). :) As far as being a good mother, I just try to be like my older sisters and mommy, seriously. I don't think I know what I'm doing so I just do whatever I feel like that day. Today I spent a lot of time reading books on the floor with Hunter, coloring kitties with him, giving him juice and holding him, etc. To me, I feel like a good mother when I can put away the worries and comparisons and just be there, happy and comfortable and not in a hurry to move on to something else. Hunter can totally tell if I'm busy and can't play right then, and it breaks his heart if I tell him I can't play right that second. So to me it's just being there when they need me, even if it's not completely convenient for me. But I love what Megan said, and think that's such a good way to say it. No comparisons, trying to be happy and set a happy mood for our home. Oh, and having a sense of humor too!
I'm so glad you're feeling a little better, it's so hard being pregnant but you can't take a nap anytime you want! I remember the Duggar mother (the one on tv with 19 kids), her advice to a new mother is to take naps whenever you can because after one child you can't ever take naps again. :) Hope you get some rest though! And watch HGTV. :)
no way!!! congratulations on being pregnant! this is so exciting :) i'm so glad you'r passing on your awesome genes to the future generation. way to go! haha.
i have no idea how to be a good mother since i'm not one, but one thing i've learned from my mom that made her so great is basically what haley said, being there when i needed her. she was 100% selfless and devoted to her children and we felt that.
i like what you pointed out about not judging people because they may be sick to or have other problems we don't know about. my mom has parkinson's disease and even though she's in the early stages it has a really negative effect on her life. it's made her mentally and physically slower and it's very easy for us and others to get frustrated with her but i know it kills her when other people are rude to her because of it. having seen this it's helped me to try to be easier on others though.
the quote by sister hinckley is so great. less is more. Da Vinci is attributed to having said, "simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
I really needed to read this post. For one thing, I'm glad to know you're feeling better! But I really needed to hear these thoughts and quotes about being a mother. It's so hard not to second guess myself and worry that I could have been calmer, quieter, and happier, that I could have been more consistent, and so on. But Heavenly Father knew that neither I nor any of us is perfect, so He promised that He would take over and make up for things that we are weak and imperfect in. I have to totally let go and then pray for help, and then get some of that Hinckley pepper in my backbone, along with her sense of humor.
I think it's important to let go of grading ourselves and our experiences, other than at times we are assessing things for a reason. To do so is like talking about what a good video something would make, rather than absorbing the actual experience.
I think being a good mother is being there in your life with your family and experiencing life with a trust in an ultimate good.
It's knowing where the magic really is, and teaching your children about it.
I see each generation learning and helping each other. That's Heavenly Father's way. It's so good to know we're not alone.
I love what each of you have said, and what you said about others being sick or having some burden that we don't know about. That is so true!
ty!
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