Finding Balance

A friend sent me this in an e-mail, taken from someone else's blog, I think. I thought it was so great and I really wanted to share it with others, too. I think finding a balance in life is so difficult and so important!! I can't find my camera (I saw it somewhere and thought, "That's an odd place for the camera, but at least Alex won't bother it." Now I can't remember where that odd place was!) so no pictures for now, but after this I will put some funny things that the kids have said. So here goes-

Finding Balance
Posted: 03 Jan 2011 07:35 AM PST



  I think it was the day I became a mother, I became completely obsessed with balance. I’m not sure why that is. I had been busy before that. But maybe I became obsessed with balance because I suddenly had this little person who was going to grow up so fast, and I wanted to hold on to every moment. But I didn’t want to lose myself. Maybe that is what started my endless fascination with “finding balance.”
 The only problem with the words “finding balance” is that they make balance sound like a lost set of keys. Something you uncover once and then you’re set. But from everything I’ve heard and lived, I’m pretty certain that is not how it works.
 So today, as I mull over my dreams for the new year, I’m going to share with you the 4 favorite things anyone has ever taught me about balance. If you have any pieces of wisdom to add, I would absolutely love to hear.


1. Life is tricky when you’re a capable person.


A very wise friend taught me this one. (This friend, by the way, is a super capable mother of six.) The problem is, when you’re competent, you know how well you could play every part in your life. Your pantry could be organized, your dinners could be delicious and interesting, you could show up with warm chicken noodle soup at the door step of anyone who needs it, then go home and have a meaningful phone call with a friend. But as you are picturing all this, you neglect to notice that all those things take not only competence, but hours. Lots and lots of hours. So unless you want to make an organized pantry your life’s work (and let me just say I think that is a worthy goal), it’s okay to let your standards drop a little. It’s okay have a partly organized pantry.




2. “You can have it all, just not at the same time.”
This lesson comes from Tina Seelig, Stanford Business Professor and author of What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20. After saying the above, she goes on to quote two other very wise women:
“[There is no such thing as a balanced life, or perfection.] I’m adamantly opposed to a balanced life, because that’s back to perfection and I’ve already told you there is none. Then you are perfect so therefore you can’t possibly stay in this state. That’s not possible. There’s always going to be something that happens. You’ve got a big project at work, your kid’s sick, you’ve got to go home to your parents. I don’t know what it is, but something’s going to happen. What I’m saying is, learn first of all to consider balance over a longer period of time, and secondly, just catch it before it hits the floor. That’s all you really have to do. You know, if you haven’t been home for a while, go home, and don’t think about work when you’re there. If you didn’t study for one subject, get on it.” –Carol Barts.
“You’re work life is really long, and your kids are little for really only a short time” –Sandra de O'Connor.




3. There is satisfaction in simplicity.


This comes from a talk from someone in my church, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, that really captured my attention: “It’s rather easy to be busy…. [When some people] unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives….Leonardo Divinci is quoted as saying, ‘Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.’”




4. “Spend the most time on things that are important, even if they are not urgent.”


This one comes from the immortal Steven Covey in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:“Remember your own priorities rather than imposing unrealistic social scripts on yourself…I see many parents, particularly mothers with small children often frustrated in their desire to accomplish a lot because all they seem to do is meet the needs of little children all day. Remember, frustration is a function of our expectations, and our expectations are often a reflection of the social mirror rather than our own values and priorities.”






So...
It has been almost 8 years now that I’ve been pursuing balance. And I do feel like I have tasted it on some days. But the problem is, balance arrives unexpectedly, and then it leaves just as suddenly and unexpectedly as it came.
So I’ve come to a point in this new year where I think I will continue to work on balance in the back of my mind. But in the front and center I am going to work on something different. I feel like it’s time to leave the frantic feeling behind and get serious about living life for the moment. And I have a hunch that maybe, while I am so busy worrying less about balance, I will find balance more often. Do you think it will work?

Don't you think those are great words of advice?! They really struck a chord with me. So, here are a few of the funny things the kids have said:

Danny and I woke up in the morning and while lying in bed could hear Alex and Tristan talking. This was the conversation-

Tristan - "You're so stinky Alex!"

Alex- "I'm not stinky."

Tristan- "Yes, you are stinky. Why are you always stinky Alex?"

Alex- "I'm stinky for you, Tristan!"

On the way to that animal shelter to look for Kittle Litty (who has since returned) Tristan said, "Let's pretend we're on the way to my school." "Okay," I said. This is what Tristan said next, and I think it reveals too much about my life- "Oh no! Hurry! We're going to be late!!!"

Alaina was wearing a Spiderman costume with a big muscle chest. She kept saying over and over, "My chest is big like yours, Mommy!" Later, while wearing a princess costume, she said in a very sad voice, "My chest isn't big like yours, Mommy." I just hope they never invent princess costumes with built-in chests!

Tristan and Alaina at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Alaina says, "I'm Dora. You're Diego, Tristan."

"No!" says Tristan vehemently. "I'm Dora!"

"No! I'm Dora, Tristan. You're Diego!"

Then Tristan hit upon the perfect solution. In a very calm voice he told Alaina, "You're Dora. But I'm the Snow Princess."

Mommy, this is for you. I think Alaina was looking for Alex and couldn't find him. She looked at me and asked, "Is Alex in Wonderland?" If I ever write a book about living with Alex, that will be the title. Alex in Wonderland. It sure explains a lot!